Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
