I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
