Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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