That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
