Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
