we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
