a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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