nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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