I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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