you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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