Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
