Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
