uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just threw up on my dentist
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
