you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
