I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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