Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
