dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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