I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
