oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
