her vagina looked like bernie madoff
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
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We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
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I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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