Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
birth control should be required to get into college
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
