Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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