Swine flu is the new snow day.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
