i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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