I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
