Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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