hell yes lets make some ravioli
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
