why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
