Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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