Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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