fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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