I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
