As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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