where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
