My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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