I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize