Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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