afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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