i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
