She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
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