That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I would fuck him just for his dog
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
