Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
