I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
