I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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