There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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