Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
