toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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