How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
