hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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