my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
