Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
