erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
