I'm eating all of the evidence.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
