i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
