The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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