Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
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She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
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And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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