Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize