i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
