no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
