I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
