im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
