I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Where did you get a picture of my penis
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Randomize
