What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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