I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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