I bet he comes in French.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
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couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
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I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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