D3 body, D1 cock
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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